HopenLex- Adventures in becoming parents

Alexandra is 11 months old! November 20, 2010

2010-11-21T01:04:00.000-08:00

My dear sweet baby girl!

Today you are 11 months old! I think I saw this every month, but I can't believe it! I just can't wrap my head around the fact that you are getting so big and that you are so close to being a whole year old! While I've virtually forgotten what life was like before you, it doesn't seem possible for you to be so old and so big!

As with every month, you have grown so much in your 11th month of life and are making so many discoveries!

You went to your first pumpkin patch this month! You were very serious, and didn't give us one smile until the very last photo I took! But I captured one! You were interested in the pumpkins, but didn't seem to like being placed in the big pile of them for photos. You liked it better when we put you on the ground with the rows of pumpkins. You enjoyed being able to crawl around and you liked the mulch on the ground (though you didn't like that we wouldn't let you eat it!)

You also went to your first Halloween party! Sydney and Amelia (from daycare and Mommy's group) held one at their house! It was so fun to see all the other babies (who are getting so big!) and mommies and to catch up! Since I'm back at work, we don't get to hang out with them very much any more, so it was great to hang out with everyone! You were unsure about being in so much commotion with lots of people you didn't know. You had a melt down when I set you down with all the other babies when we wanted to get a photo, so I sat with you, which made you feel a little better. I'm discovering more and more that you are really a watcher like me. You like to watch what's going on and have to get used to a new environment before you are ready to venture on your own into it. I have to remember this-sometimes I'm excited for you to take part, but I have to remember to let you go at your own pace.

You didn't like your ladybug Halloween costume-it was big and bulky and made it harder for you to more around in...but you sure looked cute! I wish you would have kept the hat on for a few minutes, but you didn't like it.

You attended your 2nd wedding at the end of October. You were great and even let me go off and take photos and stayed with our friend Marie-she and everyone else were of course charmed by you!

Your Grandma Mai came to visit-we hadn't seen her in a few months, so it was nice to get to visit with her. She loved hanging out with you and playing with you. It was just a quick trip and she was only with us on Friday night, but she cooked for us took us out to a really nice dinner (your first time in a fancy restaurant-Pascal's!)

I decided this month that it was time to really try cloth diapers so I did the $10 cloth diaper trial from Jilliansdrawers.com It was fun to try all kinds of cloth diapers-from prefolds to fitteds, pocket to all in ones. In the end, I decided that I really like Fuzzibunz, Thirsties, and BumGenius pocket diapers. I kept one of each of these that we are using, mainly at night, but I want to start working on increasing our stash of "fluff" as it's called in cloth diaper circles. With the new diapers, we've had no blow outs and they are nice and soft on your skin! Didn't still isn't on board, but we'll get him soon! I'm still trying to figure out how to do it with daycare, but I'm working on that too!

You are standing more and more! You like to hold things and stand up, but you are also strong enough go from a squat to standing in the middle of the room or on the bed without holding on to anything! It's pretty impressive and you are really improving your balance! You haven't started taking any steps or really showing an interested in that yet, as you get around fin by crawling-I don't think you've discovered that it could be faster or give you more freedom...yet...

You are also eating more and more solids and you enjoy feeding yourself! Your favorites are cheese and broccoli, and cottage cheese. You are also eating zucchini, carrots, butternut squash, various vegetable and fruit mashes (no more purees), ground beef, pastas (mini rotelle and cheese tortalini), and yogurt. You really like to feed yourself and are getting really good at picking up the small pieces of finger food that I give you. In fact, I'd say that you feed yourself about 75% of your meal! You are eating 3 meals a day of solids-twice at daycare and once at home for dinner!

Today, on your 11 month birthday, your Daddy took you to have Pho for the first time! The camera didn't have the memory card, so he couldn't get a photo, but he said that you liked it! Yeah! It was a great bonging activity for you both!

You had your first fever this month-got sick on Sunday (11/7) and had a fever for 1/2 of the day and then all night. It finally broke on Monday morning. I stayed home with you and you seemed to be getting better, though you did have a really runny nose. You went to daycare on Tuesday and Leticia said you seemed more tired and had a runny nose still, but other than that, you seemed fine. On Wednesday morning, I nursed you in the morning, and then you promptly threw up! (all over the bed and on Daddy's pillow! Yuck!) You weren't very happy! So I stayed home with you again. Poor baby, though you didn't throw up again, you weren't so happy and still had a very runny nose! You are just now getting back to normal and your runny nose is gone, but you still have a lingering cough that disrupts your nursing sometimes! Poor baby! I took this shot of you when you were upset and wanted to nurse!

Just a few more fun facts. You wave regularly now-at people who wave to you, sometimes just at the air, in the morning at the cats as we walk by them! You've started saying "Hi" while waving, though I'm still not sure you know what you are saying but it's pretty cute! You are starting to imitate other actions like clapping! Also, we played peek a boo yesterday for the first time-you hid behind a blanket that you held up, unassisted, in front of your face multiple times them would lower it and laugh while I said peek a boo! It's very cute!

We bought you some "birthday" presents-a play phone, some balls with different textures and moving parts, and some animal cars since you love the Tonka MINI that you like to hold in the car while in your car seat! You've already played with them a little bit and seem to like them!

I can't wait to see what your 12th month will bring-We are all on this amazing journey together and it's so much fun to watch you learn and grow!

Thank you, Alexandra, for being such a joy! Your Daddy and I are cherishing each and every wonderful moment with you and we love you so much!

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

We love you!

Mommy

A few more fun photos!

This Moment...

2010-09-25T23:05:00.000-07:00

Right now you are crashed out and sleeping on top of me. My computer is pulled up next to me and I'm typing with one hand. It's 11:07pm.

You nursed to sleep as usual tonight, not unlike usual, you didn't want to be put down in your packnplay for bed, even though I tried three times! So you are asleep on your back on my chest, kind of draped across me. You just stirred, cried out and rolled to your stomach with my help, your thumb in your mouth.

I was laying here thinking of how inconvenient this is-the food still hasn't been put away from diner, the dishes still need washing, and there are 10 bottles that are sitting on the counter waiting to be washed for me to use while pumping next week. I wanted to get you to sleep on time so I could do all of this and then spend some time working on editing pictures, but you were having none of it this evening-you wanted to be close!

So I decided to just give in and enjoy this fleeting moment. I know that sooner than I imagine you won't want to cuddle or sleep on me. As they always say to new moms- enjoy it-the dishes will still be there tomorrow! Five years from now, I won't remember whether the dishes got done or the food put away, but I will remember the moments I spent enjoying you this evening.

I want to remember and take note of these moments-so here's what I love about you right now, in this moment-

I love the weight of your little body and head as you relax into sleep. Your head on its side against my arm has the weight of complete surrender and trust. Periodically, you lift your head to get comfortable and the it flops back down with a heavy thud.

Your right thumb is in your mouth as it always is. You must suck on it hard as you have a callous on it!

Your little arms flop haphazardly to my sides, completely relaxed. When you roll to your side you lay on your arm and your fingers softly brush against me face-they are so soft and gentle

I love listening you breathe-its a sound I could listen to all day! It is so calming.

Your face has a look of such contentment on it-you love being close and I love it too!

When you wake after a long nap, you face and arms are imprinted with a relief of the folds of fabric you've been laying on. Your hair is tousled and sticking up, your head is sweaty and, if you woke before you were ready, you're are usually in a sleepy haze and upset. I love how nursing you calms you down and helps you to go back to sleep until you are ready to wake up-which you then do so happy!

It is such a sweet moment and I'm so glad I took the time to enjoy it!

Alexandra is 9 months old! September 20, 2010

2010-09-19T01:36:00.000-07:00

My dear sweet beautiful wonderful Alexandra!

Today you are 9 months old! I can't believe it! It seems like it was just yesterday that you were just a tiny little thing and now look at you! You are developing into such a wonderful little baby! You are now 39 weeks old, and you have been outside my tummy as long as you were inside. On the one hand, it seems like such a short time, but on the other, it seems like so long-I wonder how I had the patience to wait so long to meet you!

A lot has happened this month!

You and Daddy went on your first adventure along together-he took you to his go-karting event with SCMM! Lisa was so nice to watch you while you raced! She's really good with you and you had a good time as you can see from this photo!

You got your 8th tooth! Your teeth have been coming in so quickly and you now have four on top and four on the bottom! You enjoy biting and sucking on things like tags and you are quick to find the tags on lots of items! Here you are chewing on the big tag on the boppy!

You are still in our room in your pack and play. You start out the night here after you fall asleep after nursing. You usually wake up about 12pm-1am, by bolting upright, sometimes before you are even completely awake and crying (see the picture below) and I bring you into bed with me to nurse-I can go to sleep easily then and you sleep so much better when you are in bed with us! We both like it as well! We recently decided to try and have you sleep in your crib for the first part of the night when you usually sleep in your park n play, but you aren't having it! We tried a few nights and the first night you did ok, but after that, as soon as I put you down in the crib, you wake up! I think the mattress is different, the smell is different, the view is different (you've got to get used to seeing the slats on your crib instead of the mesh on the pack n play!) and this all scares you a bit and you don't want to go back to sleep once you realize this isn't your normal bed! We'll keep trying!

We are spending more time in your room to get you more familiar with your space! I think this will help you feel more comfortable with your bed too! You enjoy standing up in your crib and you like to peep at me through the slats and over the top when I put you in there to get you used to it! Like I said, we'll keep trying and eventually you'll be ready! I'm in no rush to get you out of our room! I love how tiny you look in this photo of you in your big crib! Even as big as you are getting, you are still tiny and that makes me happy! At the same time, I can't believe that you are standing up! You needed me to life your head just a few short months ago, and now you can get around and stand up on your own!

We've started giving you more room to roam! I washed the bathroom floor and the mats and you now hang out here, usually with a basket of toys, while I take my shower! You used to hang out in your bouncy seat, but once you could sit up on your own, there was no keeping you in the seat! You are quite happy to play here on the floor, and you usually stay close to the shower, sometimes pulling up on the side of the tub! It's very cute! Below you are hanging out in the bathroom with me in the morning.

We got back together with some of the moms and babies from our Mom's group this month! It was so much fun to see them all! All of the babies have grown so much, and I really enjoyed seeing all the moms and catching up!

You had a lot of fun and enjoyed your very first time in the pool!

Below are all the babies that attended-

Hudson, Amelia, Vivian, Katie, Nathan, you, Diana.

Your Daddy is doing a great job of watching you in the evenings and on the weekends that I work! He loves you so much and loves caring for you! Here he is brushing your hair after a bath!

I'm loving this view! Seeing you starting to crawl up my leg and standing up is so sweet! I know it won't be long before I see this often as you start toddling around all the time! I'm loving watching you discover new things and capabilities and learn about the world-but I also wish you could just stay small forever! These moments of you being tiny are so wonderful and so fleeting! I'm lucky that you are still a tiny little girl and will be small-I don't know if you'll like this when you are older, but I'm enjoying it now! You are the perfect size for me!

Everyday, my love for you just grows and grows! Just when I think it's not possible to love you more, you make my heart expand and stretch some more in ways I didn't know it could! You are just so wonderful! I'm looking forward to the rest of your first year and all the adventures we will have together!

I love you sweet girl!

Mama

Alexandra is 6 months old today! June 20th, 2010

2010-06-20T22:36:00.000-07:00

You are 6 months old today!!

Dear Alexandra-

We've gone through SO many changes this month! When I think back to your 5 month birthday, it's hard to believe it was just one short month ago!

To start off, I went back to work. Before I started back on May 26th, we tried to really soak up the last days of being together all day long! We went to a scrapbooking day at Jamie and Katie's house, we went to the park, and we went to Mom's group! They were very special days and I feel like we really enjoyed them to the fullest and celebrated those last days of my being home!

You started daycare fulltime on my first day back, Wednesday, May 26th. I planned it well and worked a 3 day week, then a 4 day week due to the Memorial Day holiday, and then finally we eased into a five day week. It was tough on both of us. Being back at work wasn't so tough-I fell back into the work routine pretty easily, and I'm very lucky to work with such great colleagues and people at my job. The tough part was leaving you; especially because you still aren't taking a bottle as well as you could. By my first full week, you had gone on a "hunger strike" and only took 2 oz and 2 1/2 oz on Wednesday and Thursday respectively of that week! It worried me so much! But the next week you started eating more, and I think it just took some getting used to. You still don't take the bottle well, and take between 5-8 oz a day when you should be taking around 15 oz in a day, but you are getting better. The transition to work has been tough on me in well because of the sheer amount of work I have to do to prepare each day. When I get home, you want to spend lots of time nursing and cuddling, which is wonderful, but I sometimes don't get to eat diner til very late (11pm one time!) if you are especially hungry, needy, or cuddly. Pumping at work three times a day, means lots of time at work (30-40 minutes, three times a day) as well as time at night washing, drying, and preparing bottles. And then getting home late means that I have to prepare meals in advance on early nights and weekends. It's a lot of work. But even so, I love my new life with you and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Another big development this month is that you sprouted two teeth! I realized on Saturday, May 29th that your bottom two teeth had broken through! You had been fussy on Tuesday evening, and I figured that it was because you knew something was up (I was returning to work the next day) but now I think you must have been having some teething pain! Even with that, you were such a happy baby and you fooled us, keeping your new teeth a secret until they emerged on Saturday!

On Sunday, May 30th, Daddy got a new car! He traded in Whipper, his Chili Red, JCW MINI Cooper S, to get a more family friendly car-a VW Jetta Sportswagon TDI. While he likes the new car, he misses his MINI a lot-but he realized that he needed to get a more reliable, larger, more family friendly car. You were so good at the dealership! We spent a lot of time there buying the car, and everyone commented on how great you were! We were very proud of you, and so happy that you are such a happy, contented baby! You took an interest in the keys to Daddy's new car, so we'll have to get you your own set of pretend keys-no real keys for you until you are at least 16!

You have started taking an interest in our food as we eat it! You watch intently as we put food in our mouth and act very interested in what we are doing. You have also started reaching for our plates sometimes-in fact, I ended up with a plate of food in my lap at F and K's baby shower (fellow babyloss parents from my Long Beach group who are pregnant and just recently had their baby girl, R!) when you reached for it and flipped the paper plate over off the edge of the table! Luckily it almost empty, but I'll have to pay a lot more attention because you are reaching for things more and more now!

You have really started pushing up on your hands and knees now-you started out toppling over once you pushed up. Then, in one day, you found your balance and you started rocking back and forth on your hands an knees like you wanted to move! You are so close! You now move all over the place with a combination of rolling, turning, and pushing up on your hands and knees. It's so fun to see you exploring the world from a different angle!

You are also almost sitting up on your own when I put you in that position. You don't seem too interested though in it, so you don't really try to stay that way yet!

Grandma Didi and Grandpa JohnJohn came to visit this month! We had so much fun with both of them! You enjoyed bouncing with your grandpa, and loved being held by Grandma! They loved you up and were so happy to see you and snuggle you!! The same weekend that Grandma and Grandpa visited, you learned to really use your hands to grasp things! You like to reach for things now and to grab them. The Paddywhackers are now some of your favorite toys! You like to hold them, pass them back and forth from hand to hand, and bend and fold them! You can play with them for a long time without getting bored like you do with other toys.

We have gotten back into reading every evening before bed. We usually "All About Me-A Baby's Guide to Babies." Even if you are tired, you smile and get excited every time we read this book! You like looking at the pictures of the babies, but most of all you seem to like looking at the words and the writing. You pat the pages and like to hold the book while I'm holding it.

We had a nice Father's Day/6 month birthday-we got you dressed up in a cute outfit-a blue and white dress with a blue sweater! You and your Daddy posed for some pictures that turned out to be some of my favorites! They really show your personality and your special relationship together.

I've now successfully taken your picture everyday for 6 whole months! It's amazing to go back and look at the Daily Alexandra photos from your first months! You have changed and grown and learned so much-it's simply amazing!

I love you sweet girl! Happy 6 month birthday! I can't wait to see what the rest of your first year brings! I certainly know I'm going to enjoy them!

I love you!

Mommy

Alexandra is 5 months old! May 20th, 2010!

2010-05-20T20:34:00.000-07:00

Alexandra is 5 months today, May 20th, 2010!

Dear Alexandra-

My sweet little girl! You are growing and discovering so much in the past month! I love watching you as you grow! You just become sweeter with every passing day. Describing how much I love you still just isn't possible-you are my heart and soul and my sun, moon, and stars-you give me direction and purpose. While I love each new discovery and can't wait for the next, the words of a song that we listen to while making dinner sometimes ring so true-

I hope that maybe

You'll stay a baby

If only for just

One more day

Time marches on and brings wonderful things, but sometimes I just wish we could freeze it for awhile, so I could enjoy your wonderful-ness a little longer!

You are really rolling now, in both directions, left and right, from your back to your stomach! And recently you figured out how to get back to your back when you get tired of being on your stomach! It's so cute to see you rolling one way, then rolling back the other way-you are really moving! When you are on your tummy, you kick your feet and move your legs like you want to crawl. You haven't figured it out yet, but I can see it coming! It won't be long before you are truly mobile! I've started baby-proofing, starting with our bedroom in anticipation!

You had your first full day at daycare on the May 18th. I dropped you off at around 9am and you stayed until 5:30pm. Daddy went with me to pick you up and we took a photo with Leticia! You did so well! You are taking the bottle without a fight, and see to do better and better each day! You were more needy that night and nurse more than usual, but you only woke up once in the middle of the night which is not unusual! I was worried that you might wake up many times, but you didn't! I'm so glad that you feel comfortable with Leticia and the three other kids at daycare. I'm very glad that we've taken the time to ease into it, even if I would have rather had you all that time, I think it was important to make it an easier transition for us both! I'm also very happy that your friend from our mom's group, Amelia, will be going to daycare with you! I hope that you and Amelia will become great friends, and that her mom and I will grow our friendship too!

We've been growing our friendships with all the other moms and babies from our moms group this month as well! We've had several events, one get together at Portia's house, 2 park afternoons that I planned, and just today, a scrapbooking day at Jamie's house! We've had a lot of fun getting to know other mommy's and babies! I enjoy their company, especially since they understand the joys and challenges of being a new mommy, and you like watching and playing with the other babies!

I've definitely enjoyed our park afternoons! We've done two with the other mommy's, and one with Grandma DiDi. It's so nice to just enjoy the warm air and the cool breeze in the late afternoon, and you like watching the leaves and the shadows above!

Another fun event was our trip to Scripps to see your "aunties" Jung, Helen, and Lilybeth! We had fun seeing Julie from CP&R, hanging out on the lawn, and seeing Prof. Boucquey! It was nice to show you around Scripps and it was such a beautiful, perfect day! Hanging out on the lawn like the old days was wonderful to do with you too! It was such a reminder of where I've come from and how far I've come!

We've started giving you more baths in the last week or so. Between spitting up and being a messy bottle eater, you get all messy and smelly and sticky by the end of the day! You see to really like the tummy tub, and it's a nice routine at the end of the day! Also, I've cleaned of my big chair in our bedroom and we've been reading a book there in the evening! You like to snuggle in on my lap and I love this time! You seem fascinated by books and words and text (I often find you "reading" the warning label on your car seat right after I put you in!!) and I hope this continues and you develop a love for reading!

We've started introducing more toys to you, though still not a lot. Grandma DiDi gave you your Sophie that she and Grandpa JohnJohn gave you awhile back. You LOVE the squeak sound it makes and just smiled for miles when we first gave it to you. You try to chew on here, but are not quite successful yet, as it takes a little more coordination than you have to get the other end to your mouth, but you are working on it! You also enjoy your little Winnie-the-Pooh toys (you've only seen Tigger and Eeyore so far) as well as your Paddywackers! But mostly you just enjoy "chatting" and playing with us and don't need too many extra toys yet. You have lots to play with at Leticia's anyway! Grandma DiDi also enjoyed giving you a bottle while I made dinner! You did very well and took almost 2 oz! I love that other people can feed you now and that you don't have to rely on me, although I'm not about to give up any feedings I don't have to! Breastfeeding still remains very enjoyable for both of us. I wanted to breastfeed for a year, but now I plan on continuing until you want to stop. I'm hoping that pumping at work doesn't prove to be too difficult!

You rent through a little development growth spurt last week. You had a hard time when you got tired and cried and got very fussy. You were didn't want anyone else to hold you other than your Daddy and I, and you even got upset at daycare when Sydney brought Amelia! At first I thought it was stranger anxiety, but then Adeline at our mom's group said that she could see that you were learning so much and were very busy and that it was probably that. Sure enough, you did great when we visited you KQ aunties and others at Scripps on Tuesday, 5/11 and have been fine since, even letting a man who sat next to us in restaurant that we talked with hold you!

Other interesting things:

You don't seem to be growing rapidly anymore-you are eating as much as ever, but your growth has leveled off. Whereas you were once one of the bigger babies for your age, you are now looking a little small! I love it because I just want you to stay cute and small forever!

At 5 months, you are wearing some 3 month outfits still! You are also wearing some 3-6 month outfits as well.

Well, my sweet one, stay sweet and lovely as you are!

I love you!

Love,

Mama

Alexandra is 4 months old! April 20th, 2010!

2010-05-04T22:58:00.000-07:00

My Dear, Sweet, Wonderful Alexandra-

Have I told you how much I love you? I don't think you can comprehend just how much I love you! I am just overflowing with love for you and I am constantly overwhelmed by your wonderful-ness! You Daddy thinks so too! The other day we were marveling at the fact that just 4 short months ago, you didn't exist in this world. Just a year ago, we were in an entirely different place (emotionally especially) and we were longing and wishing for you. How utterly and profoundly amazing it is that just a year later, you are here, now, right in from of us and we can touch you and hear your coos and giggles, and see your smiles You are a lifetime wishes and dreams manifest. You are everything that we wished for and SO SO much more! You have far surpassed our expectations of what parenthood would be like! We both agree that it has been the most amazing ride of our lives!

This month has brought so many wonderful things!

You are so much more aware and in possession of yourself and your body! You smile at us all the time and your beginning to giggle! We went out walking one evening and stopped by our neighbors front yard to talk to meet them and chat. Our neighbor was swinging her little girl in a swing in their porch. You watched intently and then startled giggling and squealing with delight! You thought it was so funny! You kept this up for a good 5 minutes! It's so much fun to see you discovering the world and having your own thoughts and opinions about it! No doubt, you wanted to jump right in that swing yourself by your reaction! A good way to make you laugh now is to say the word "giggle" in a high pitched voice. You find it hilarious and it always produces a smile and often a laugh!! Your belly laughs are the best!

At the beginning of April, you started daycare. It was so hard to leave you, but I'm so glad that we are easing you into this-both for you and for me! We started with an hour on the first day (I cried once I left you!) and have been working our way up. You are getting better with the bottle, but mainly just fuss when you get tired, take a little milk with the bottle, and then fall asleep. This seems to be how you deal with being apart and not being able to nurse. Its making me very nervous for when I go back to work next month, but it's definitely an improvement as you screamed the first time we tried to give you a bottle! I am so happy that we found the daycare provider that we did-Leticia is very sweet and you seem to like her and being there. You've never cried when I've left-you are all smiles when I drop you off and all smiles when I pick you up! I would much rather you stay with me, of course, but since you have to go to daycare, I'm so happy that it's in a good environment! I hope that you grow to love Leticia and that you like going to daycare. I'm also happy that the group that she has is all girls! Hopefully you'll make some good friends!

You are enjoying your baths in the Tummy Tub! I hesitated getting it because it just looks like a bucket, but it's perfect for you! You like being in the warm water and splashing. It's a nice winddown at the end of the day, and you go right to sleep after nursing on the days you take a bath!

In your Tummy Tub (see video HERE)

You've definitely found your fingers and your thumb! Your hands go to your mouth more and more often and you use your thumb to self soothe sometimes! I'm very happy that you've found a way to soothe ourself-you don't need to often as I always respond quickly (I won't let you "cry it out" ever and I'm not planning on it) but there are times in the car when I can't get there right away and it's good that you can call on your thumb! With sucking on your fingers comes lots of drool! It gets everywhere and sometimes I have you wear a bib to keep you from soaking the front of your outfit! I was wondering if you were teething, but you don't seem to have any teeth coming in yet-(I hope they wait awhile! I'm not ready for that!) You have also started taking a pacifier-you don't take it all the time, but seems to soothe you if you get tired and can't seem to find your thumb. Rocking you in the glider with the pacifier seems to help you relax and go to sleep in the later afternoon.

You are a good sleeper so far at night! I nurse you around 9pm and you go right to sleep. If the lights are off and it's quiet, you often sleep right through til 6:30am. If you've been at Leticia's for a few hours and didn't get to nurse (and wouldn't take the bottle) then you are a bit clingy-er and wake up to eat once or twice in the night. Sometimes also you just wake up around midnight to eat again. I dont' mind though-it's just another chance for us to have our special time together. For the most part, I feel very lucky with your sleep habits and hope you keep it up!

Sleeping Beauty!

While you are a great nighttime sleeper, you don't sleep well during the day unless I'm holding you. Once I put you down, you wake up after a few minutes. I've been trying to read your patterns though and several times I've put you down in your crib for 2 or 3 minutes to use the bathroom or do something and I comeback and find that you are sleepy and are sucking your thumb or fingers and pretty soon have fallen asleep! These naps only last about 45 minutes, but I'm glad you are learning to put yourself to sleep! I'm not complaining though about your lack of daytime naps-if it leads to you sleeping well at night, I don't want to change anything!

You are very vocal and you love "talking." Sometimes you squeal or yell to get our attention, and sometimes you just like to exercise your vocal cords! I love it and we like to have "conversations back and forth. You are a much more active participant now in these conversations than you used to be, using your voice at full volume, instead of just cooing! You usually only talk when we are at home, though-when we are out, you are usually just quietly taking it all in. See a video of you talking HERE

You had your first big trip in early April. We went to Santa Barbara to see Grandma Didi, Grandpa JohnJohn, and Auntie Gretchen (who hasn't seen you since you were 7 days old!). They all loved seeing you! It was a bit of a tough trip for you as it was your first time in such a new environment, away from home for so long. We also went to Auntie Gretchen's bridal shower, so you met lots of people and all the excitement was hard for you! You were great though, and were still smily by the end of the trip. It was clear that you were so glad to be home, though because you fell asleep into the most peaceful sleep immediately with Daddy when we got home that night!

With Auntie Gretchen

You love to watch other babies and we always have fun at our Mom's group! I pull you close to the other babies and you stare at them and look and stare some more! You are very attentive when you are interested in something and you can hold your attention for a long time! We don't have any toys for you other than your baby gym which we use several times a week for tummy time. Other than that, you seem very content with just us and we try to make lots of eye contact and talk to you all the time!

With Nathan at Mom's Group

You love looking at the picture of Eeyore on the wipes box. There are other Winnie-The-Pooh characters on the box, but you only have eyes for Eeyore. You smile at him, stare at him, and reach for him! I sometimes say "where's Eeyore? Find your Eeyore" (yes, he is your Eeyore) and you smile and look over in his direction! When I say his name, you know what I'm talking about! You are so smart!

With "Your Eeyore"

Towards the end of the month, you found your feet one day! Now when you are on your back, you often reach for your feet. You aren't pulling them to your mouth, just reaching for them (Happy baby yoga pose!). Shortly after that, you started rolling from your back to your tummy! Without warning one day your just rolled! I was, of course, surprised, but you acted like you'd been doing it forever! Now, when we put you on your back, you immediate put your legs up and start rolling! It's pretty funny! It also makes for a challenging changing time because you always want to roll over to your Eeyore! See the video HERE

Alexandra finds her feet!

Your 4 month appt went well. You got more shots, which you didn't like, but you were very good and only cried for about 10 seconds until it was over and I picked you up! Then you were your old happy self again! Your growth has slowed down and you are about average on the growth charts, which the Dr said is normal for breast fed babies.

Your weight: 14lbs 1.5oz (55th %ile)

Your length:

Your head:

I really like your pediatrician, Dr Ball. He's very laid back and easy going and gives great advice. He gave us the go ahead to start you on solid food if we want, but said it would be better to wait until you are 6 months since I'm breastfeeding you. This made me happy, because I'm not ready to give up any of our feedings yet! We'll start you on solids after your 6 month appt in June.

At your 4 month appointment

Everyone always comments on what a beautiful baby you are (in fact Dr Ball even said that you could be a baby model!) People are alway saying how cute babies are, but people say you are beautiful! I have to agree! You are the most beautiful being, inside and out!

I love watching your grow and discover new things-each discovery is so amazing! You are amazing! I can't believe how far you've come in just 4 short months!

I love you baby girl! You are the light of my life!

Love forever,

Mommy

Alexandra is 3 months old!

2010-03-23T17:03:00.000-07:00

Dear Alexandra-

Today, my sweet girl, you are 3 months old!

I'm sure I'm going to say this every month, but I can't believe that you have been on this earth for 3 months! And they have been three such sweet and wonderful months too!!

I am loving being a Mommy! Taking care and nurturing you is truly my calling in life, and I am so proud to be your Mama!

This month you have discovered so many things and it has been amazing to watch you learn and see the world! I love showing you new things, reading to you, talking to you, and looking into your beautiful eyes! Just as I am showing you things, you too are teaching me even more important things-patience, humility, peace, to slow down. You have given me so many gifts already in just three short months and I only hope that I can give you as many in your lifetime!

You are definitely a mommy's girl right now and often have your "fussy time" right when Daddy gets home. He is getting better and better are calming you down, though, which is a big help to mommy and sometimes a needed break to have a few minutes to myself. But after a few minutes of silence and time to clear my thoughts, I miss you and want you back! It's hard being away from you for more than a few minutes!

You are getting more coordinated. During tummy time this week you grabbed the monkey from you gym that I took off the beams and lay next to you. You grabbed it and held on as you moved him around. I don't think you intentionally reached for it, but it was the first time I'd seen you pick something up! You also reached for the tag on your car seat that was sitting next to you and felt it for a few seconds! You are very interested in the animals in your gym, and I have fun telling you about each one and helping you touch them! You also like it when the elephant kisses you, or I make the squeaky sound on the gym-it always gets a smile!

Your fingers are in your mouth all the time and you have started blowing bubbles and drooling! It's very cute, though the front of your outfit gets wet and I get worried that you will get cold! If putting your fingers in your mouth is one of the ways you learn, then you are definitely learning a lot! You also suck on your fingers which is a self soother for you!

When your fingers aren't in your mouth, I've been trying to get you to take a pacifier. The Nuk seems to fit your mouth best (we learned this when trying out different bottles) and when you want to suck, you sometimes like the pacifier. You are still not taking a bottle, but we are continuing to try! The other day, you took a 1/2 ounce. You still seem to have trouble with what to do with the nipple and haven't started sucking yet, but you do put it in your mouth and s compress the nipple. I think the flow might be too fast for you and you don't know what to do with it because of that! We'll keep trying though! I'm trying to pump more often and am building a frozen milk supply for your bottles when you eventually take them!

You are now just over 13 lbs-I had you weighed at Milkilicious last Wednesday when we went to see how much you eat in a feeding. We'll go again this week and see if you take the same amount (5 oz!!) again! You have a healthy appetite!

I was just saying to your Daddy how fun you are getting! At first I just wanted you to stay small and newborn, but I'm seeing now how exciting it is as you discover the world and grow! You smile and sometimes even giggle often! Making eye contact makes you happy and you often have a smile for those who look at you which always charms them! Your smiles are big and so full of joy and it's clear that you are elated to be engaged! Once you lock eyes with someone, especially me, you can keep that eye contact for minutes on end without breaking it!

Everyone who sees you always comments on how beautiful you are! I love just looking at you because they are right! Lots of babies are cute, but you are beautiful! I could stare at your for hours!

I can't wait to see what this month brings, my little one! If it's anything like these first three, I know it will be amazing!

I love you!

Mama!

Alexandra is 2 months old!

2010-03-07T23:47:00.000-08:00

Dear Alexandra-

I'm writing this a few days after your 2 month birthday. Your actual 2 month birthday weekend was busy with events and visitors and I never had a chance to sit down and reflect on this past month. I wanted to really have the time to think about everything that has happened this past month and how you have grown.

You have really blossomed this month and have gone from a tiny newborn to a baby who is much more alert and aware of and interested in her surroundings. You have started smiling, which just melts my heart. You smile a lot especially in the mornings when you first wake up. There is nothing better than picking you up when you are crying in the morning and seeing that cry change into a smile when you see me! And it's not a little smile, when you smile, you have the most amazing, enormous grin on your face and you look so elated-it's pretty wonderful! Auntie Gretchen captured it while we were iChat-ing when you smiled at her!

You are spending more and more time awake now, and we have little conversations. You coo and I coo back at you and we go back and forth for a little while. Our conversations are interspersed with your smiles and grins and my laughs and exclamations at your wonderful smiles!

You are very calm as long as you are not hungry or need something. You like to look around and take everything in. Sometimes you will wake up after I've moved you to your bed and you kick your legs and move around and turn your head, but you don't cry. After about 15 minutes of this, you often will fall asleep again, especially if I turn on your sleep sheep to the rain sound! I'm so thankful that you don't get upset but are content to take everything in! What an amazing thing to have a baby who can self-soothe! I'm so lucky!

You are growing so big! I don't know how much you weigh, but I'm sure it's at least 10 lbs already, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was more! (Added note, at your 2 month well-baby visit, you weighed 12 lbs (88th %ile) and you were 22 inches long (55th %ile)!

You are a good eater and our nursing time is so special. Sometimes you just want to stay and linger and suck (I'm your pacifier). I think you'd be permanently attached if you could! Nursing seems to be a cure-all. If you are upset about anything, I just pop you on and all your troubles are gone and you are completely relaxed and soothed! You clearly love breastfeeding-it's our special bonding time and I'm so happy that you enjoy it so much!

That said, you have decided that you hate the bottle, which we tried to introduce about a week ago. You cried and screamed when your Daddy tried to feed you with it. The next time, I tried leaving the room and then I left the house completely (and walked the dogs) but it didn't help. You cried and got very upset. Your Daddy said that the most recent time he tried, you got more and more upset when he tried to give it to you and it took him a long time to calm you down! It makes me upset to think that you don't like the bottle and that it makes you upset when we try to give it to you. You'll have to take it when you go to day care, so I'm definitely worried that you dislike it so much! We're going to try some different nipples and hopefully that will help!

We've had a lot of visitors this month-Grandma Didi has come to visit twice. The week before your 2 month birthday when she was here, she exclaimed how big you were getting! You gave her lots of smiles and she just loved you and loved you! We all wish that she lived closer and could help take care of you while Mommy and Daddy go to work!

You also have had 2 visits from Grandma Mai (where you get your middle name from). She really liked holding you and you guys got to know each other better this time. We gave her some photos of you in a little book (we said it was a present from you!) and she was so happy to have her grandma brag book!

Grandma DiDi helped us look at several day cares while she was here. We didn't find exactly what we wanted, so Mommy is looking at several others to see if we can find just the right place/person for you. My priority is finding you the best person to watch you-you are my heart and soul and I really want to find someone who will love you like their own!

You seem to be sleeping better this month! You are developing more of a pattern, with a morning and evening "awake time." You've also had 2 or 3 nights this month where you have spelt for over 4 hours! How happy this makes your Mommy who has had a hard time with so little sleep! It's a joyful morning when you have slept so well! Even when you don't sleep as long, in the last week or so, your sleep seems to be deeper and more profound. Your startle reflex is fading, so if your hand(s) break free from your swaddle, you don't wake up as quickly!

The day before your 2 month birthday, you rolled over-twice! We did tummy time with Grandma DiDi and you rolled from your tummy to your back...then we turned you back to your tummy, in shock of what we had just seen...and then you did it again, and we caught it on video! You are such a strong little girl! When we do tummy time, you push your legs like you want to go somewhere! I think that you will crawl early!

Watching your Daddy with you is amazing! He is so enamored by you! Even now that we've known you for 2 months, he constantly exclaims at how beautiful or amazing or precious you are! I think I've been replaced as his favorite girl! You love him too and you like to stare at him all the time! It's clear that you love him a lot!

It's been an amazing two months watching you grow and change! I can't wait to see what the next few months will bring, my beautiful girl!

I love you!

Mommy

Alexandra is 1 month old!

2010-02-27T00:29:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I'm really late in posting this-I posted it on Flickr on her actual 1 month birthday, but I've been remiss in posting things here, so I'm going to get back on track. I plan on posting her 2 month old photo and letter in a few days and then we'll be on track!

Dear Alexandra-
You are one month old today, January 20th, 2010.
I can't believe that you are so old already! You have changed so much in your first month!

At your two week Dr appt, you had already gained one pound over your birth weight. When you were born, you weighed 7 lbs, 2 oz, then you went down to 6 lbs, 7 oz, 4 days after you were born. By January 6th, you were 8 lbs, 2 oz! The Dr said you were doing great and that your weight gain must be some kind of record! You need to gain 1 oz each day, but you gained 2 oz! You can't imagine how excited we were that you were doing so well! You are already outgrowing a lot of your newborn clothes and you are starting to fill out. You have the cutest chubby cheeks and you are starting to get little chubby thighs!

Since you were born, you have become a great eater. You love breastfeeding and you want to eat all the time! I love feeding you-its our special time together. Breastfeeding seems to calm any woe-you can be screaming, but the moment I put you on the breast, everything is solved! I think you would stay there all day long if you could! You are also very cuddly! You love being held and cuddled! I'm so glad that you are snuggly and cuddly, and I look forward to lots of cuddles and kisses and hugs as you grow up!

You are very sweet natured and calm, and you only cry when you want something, (usually to be fed and then you make sure that your needs are known!) You have the most beautiful smile! You don't smile socially yet, but you do smile often-sometimes it's just a little glimpse of a smile and sometimes it's a huge grin. I swear I heard you laugh the other day as well, but I'm not sure! I like to think you did! Your face just lights up with you smile and I can only imagine how cute it is when you laugh!

You are very strong and like to pick your head up and look around when I put you on my chest to burp you-you do it all the time and you love to look around! It's so cute how you cross your arms in front of you and push your head up to look around, or at me (especially when we make eye contact-you have the MOST BEAUTIFUL deep blue eyes!) You also have strong legs and push up on them any chance you get when I am burping you.

We have started playing together every day. I lean back and put my knees up and you sit on my tummy and lean back on my legs. You like looking around when we do this too and we have fun playing "Paddy Cake" and "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" together!

Today you discovered the pacifier! Daddy and I took you out to lunch and then did some errands. You cried while I ran into Target, but by the time I came back, you were quiet and happy because Daddy gave you your pacifier! I had tried to give it to you before, you you never seemed to want it! You only seem to want to take it now if you are hungry, and it seems to satisfy you for a half hour or so before you decide you want the real thing!

Sleeping has been a challenge. You are a good sleeper during the day, sleeping for 3 hour stretches, but you seem to have a harder time at night. You just don't like being left alone in your bassinet all alone on your back! I think it's mainly because I'm holding you most of the day, while at night, I put you down in your bassinet. You don't like being there and sleep for an hour or an hour and a half before you wake up crying again. We've discovered that you tend to wake up when you become unswaddled and your startle reflex wakes you up! We've now found some better swaddles (Kiddopatomos and the Miracles Blanket) as well as your swing, bouncer, and Sleep Sheep that plays white noise have been helpful in getting you to sleep longer at night. They seem to help you feel more secure and safe and help you to not wake up as easily, so we've had some better nights with you sleeping 3 hour stretches at a time! You aren't consistent yet, but we're getting better! Even if you were up all night long, though, I wouldn't mind, because you are so sweet!

We also just received the Moby Wrap today, which I hope will allow you to sleep on me while I wear you so I can have a little bit more freedom and not spend all my time in our bedroom! I think you'll like being warn, especially so close to me!

My sweet girl, both your Daddy and I are completely and utterly in love with you! Your Daddy, especially, tells you all the time, whenever he holds you, how much he loves you and how beautiful you are! It's clear that he's head over heels for you and I love to watch him with you!

Being your Mommy is the most amazing experience I've ever had-It's about a million times better than I ever imagined.

I love you to the moon and back!
Love,
Mommy

My Birth Story

2010-01-07T17:46:00.001-08:00

Hypnobabies parents, you may want to use your BOP in reading this as it does mention pain. Thanks!

I felt the first signs of my birthing time on Friday, December 18th. I was out to coffee with my friend Amy and felt a few little cramps. I remember thinking that that was interesting and wondering if it meant anything. I didn't really feel much else the rest of the day, but I remember feeling a bit crampy again that night as we went to bed. I woke up early in the morning on Saturday and I couldn't get comfortable or sleep so I got up and finished packing my bag for the hospital. After that, I was tired again and able to go back to sleep.

All through the day on Saturday, I would feel cramps, which then transitioned into lower back pain. Around 2:00 pm, I decided that they were getting more regular and that I needed to start keeping track of them. I downloaded "Contraction Master" to my iPod Touch and started keeping track. We were supposed to go to my work to have my friend Stefani do some maternity photos of me at 4pm, but my pressure waves (I'd decided that they were most likely pressure waves by now) were starting to get more regular and stronger. At 3:30pm when we were supposed to leave, I decided that it just wasn't a good idea and that we'd better stay home. We also called our Doula, Sheridan, and told her what was happening. She said it could be that my birthing time had started and to try and relax and rest.

So, Lex and I did the opposite and decided that we needed to take our own maternity photos since we weren't going to be able to have them done for us! Lex set up his studio backdrop and new light kit and we spent the next hour taking lots of shots of me pregnant. Lex even got photos of me in the middle of pressure waves, which were getting stronger and more frequent! I'm so glad he did-little did we know that in less than 24 hours, I wouldn't be pregnant anymore!

All that evening, the pressure waves got longer, stronger, and closer together. We continued to talk to Sheridan throughout the evening. Lex and I were both still unsure about whether this was my birthing time or not-Lex looked up lower back pain in late pregnancy and saw that a lot of women had what I was having, but that it wasn't their birthing time, and they didn't give birth for a few more days. I was confused because I didn't have any pressure waves in my belly, everything was across my lower back.

Lex tried to get be to eat something that evening (my homemade macaroni & cheese with chicken and broccoli) but I couldn't eat more than a few bites. Sheridan reminded Lex that I needed to hydrate, so I tried to drink some water throughout the night, but had a hard time with that as well. Sheridan also suggested that thebabymightbe pressing on a nerve and that I should try some belly lifts and/or pelvic tilts. I did both of these at different times of the evening. At first, the belly lifts helped and then they stopped working, so I moved on to the pelvic tilts, which again, alleviated some of the discomfort at first, but then slowly stopped working. I tried several times to listen to my hypnobabies scripts and to lie down and rest, but each time a pressure wave they would slam into me and it was all I could to stand up or get in my hands and knees and rock and do pelvic tilts. There was going to be no relaxing here! I kept hoping that maybe these were just the result of the baby being in a bad position that was just hitting some nerve, and that as soon as I could get the baby to turn, or more to a different position, that the discomfort I was feeling would stop. Also, with each wave, I could actually see the baby move in the lower left part (from my viewpoint) of my stomach. So I was unsure if the baby was causing the waves each time she moved, or if each pressure wave was causing the baby to move like that. Whatever was sticking out was smaller than an head; looking back on it now, I think it must have been a shoulder or maybe an elbow or even a knee! I could literally watch as the bump grew and the pressure wave built.

When a pressure wave would come, it would radiate from the middle of my lower back out across each side. As they got stronger, they also got more forceful and would hit like a ton of bricks! Towards the end, I would actually describe them as a little violent because they would hit so forcefully, and with so much strength!

At the beginning, I was able to get into the shower and let the hot watch run on my lower back and it actually made the pain almost completely disappear. As the pressure waves got stronger, though, the shower helped less and less. Nevertheless, I ended up taking about 6 or 7 showers (of about 30-45 minutes!) throughout the night!

It started to get late and I spent most of my time going between the two bathrooms upstairs-in the guest bathroom I sat both forwards and backwards on the toilet, and the would pace/sway between that bathroom and the master bedroom bathroom. I would go between that and hoping in the shower when I needed a change.

The pain started moving from my lower back to my hips sometime in the middle of the night, which turned out to be even more painful than the back pain! At that point, the only thing I could do to get through each pressure wave was to walk and sway back and forth. The pain was so great that I just wanted to run from it, but of course, I couldn't.

We talked to Sheridan again around 10pm. She offered to come over, but at this point, I was so into focusing on myself and my body, that I just wanted to continue that way and didn't think I could take anything distracting me from that-I didn't even really want Lex comforting me, so he did research in his computer room, just a few feet away, where he was close by if I needed him, but didn't distract me from getting through each wave.

Looking back now, especially looking at the record of my pressure waves on Contraction Master, I can see that there were several times when my pressure waves were strong and close enough together that we should have gone to the hospital if we were following the 4-1-1 rule (4 minutes apart, lasting 1 minutes, for 1 hour) but I wasn't really watching this, and neither was Lex, who was convinced that it wasn't my birthing time yet! I told Lex that for our next baby, he has to keep track of my pressure waves because he'll have the presence of mind to keep track of how far apart they are! The few times I did think "maybe we should go to the hospital" I decided I didn't think I could stand the car ride there, so I'd just wait (not very smart!)

Sometime after 4am, I remember thinking that something had to change, that I couldn't go on like this. I even told Lex that if someone offered me an epidural right then, I would take it. I didn't know it at the time, but I think I was going through transition at this point.

Not long afterwards, while I was sitting backwards in the toilet, I stood up and saw some blood dripping. On the next pressure wave, I lost what I thought was my mucus plug. That's when I knew that things were moving along and that my birthing time had really begun!! Up until that point, I kept thinking that maybe this wasn't my birthing time, but that it was the baby dropping, or something like that. I figured since I hadn't even lost my mucus plus that I couldn't be very dilated at all, and even with the birthing waves as strong as they were, I didn't want to go to the hospital because I was afraid that they would tell me that it wasn't time yet, and that my only option was to go home and wait (or maybe get an epidural for the pain, which I didn't want, but thought I would take at that point because the pain was so great)

Once I lost my mucus plug, the pressure waves immediately started coming harder and stronger, and I felt like I was getting slammed each time one would hit. I told Lex that I thought we needed to go to the hospital and that he needed to call the Dr. He did, and I had to jump in the shower to be able to endure that next few waves. Hours before when I had thought about going to the hospital, I realized that I didn't know how I would get there because I had to stand up and sway to be able to bear the pressure waves. Now I really had no idea how I was going to get in the car and sit there while we drove to the hospital!

Lex talked to the Dr on call, Dr Kong, and she said, yes, come on in to the hospital to get checked. Lex jumped in the other shower, and got things ready while I stayed in the shower. I wanted to stay there until the last possible minute, then get out, throw on some clothes and walk to the car-I didn't want any delays once I was in the car!

While in the shower, I started feeling the urge to push with each pressure wave. This urge got stronger with every pressure wave. I didn't feel like the baby was right there, but the urge to push was so great. I decided to see if I could feel the baby, so I felt with one finger and could feel something slippery kind of bulging up inside me. A few pressure waves later I felt again and it had moved down. I wasn't sure what it was, the baby's head, etc? but I later figured out that it must have been my bag of water that was bulging out.

I hopped out of the shower to go and then told Lex that I didn't think I could make it to the hospital, because the urge to push was so strong! He told me to get in the car and that we were going to the hospital one way or another and that I had to get in the car. I did and Lex did an amazing job of getting us to the hospital really fast! We called Sheridan to let her know that we were going to the hospital and to meet us there. On the drive to the hospital, I sat in the car, eyes closed, bracing myself the whole way. With each pressure wave, I felt the urge to push and kept saying to myself "don't push, don't push, don't push" to get through each one. I think I had around 4-6 pressure waves on the way to the hospital. We left the house around 5:25am. Somewhere, not too far into the ride there, my water broke with a pop! Luckily, I'd somehow had the presence of mind to bring a towel and to sit on it (no idea where that moment of coherence came from!)

We arrived at the hospital and got the last parking spot in front of the Emergency room (where you had to enter after hours). I walked in during a pressure wave. They had me fill something out, which I could barely do, and then a runner got me into a wheelchair and got me up to the L&D area really fast, which I was so thankful that I didn't have to walk there, or wait for someone.

They tried to put me into triage to make sure I was actually in labor (I'm guessing they didn't think I was because I wasn't screaming or anything, but looked pretty calm from the outside). When I stood up, they saw that the wheelchair seat was wet and realized that my water had already broken and got me a room (Lex said we had to wait a little for a room, but I don't remember that).

Once in the room, the nurse tried to have me use the bathroom and pee in a cup. I thought in my head "there's no way" but couldn't get the words out and went in. I could barely move and pulled the "help" cord and told the nurse that I couldn't and that I had to push and just stripped off everything waist down and got on the bed. I think that's when they realized that I was farther along than they all thought and the room was a flutter with activity.

Overall, I think I was very calm-I was just inside my head and focusing on my body and nothing else, and I was very quiet. Even though I was in pain, I still felt very calm, though it was really intense.

I don't know if it was a nurse or the Dr who checked me. Lex said it was the nurse who checked and said I was fully dilated and 100% effaced. Then they told Lex that this was going to be really quick and that the baby was coming soon!!

I pushed through 7 pressure waves for the next 25 minutes to push her out. It took the first 2-3 to really get the hang of it and figure it out. I pushed on my side, because that's what felt most comfortable. At one point, they asked if I wanted to switch to my back with the stirrups, but that sounded terrible so I declined and just didn't want to/couldn't imagine moving from that position!

After a few pushes, they said they could see the baby's hair and asked me if I wanted the mirror to see. It was pretty interesting to see just a bit of her hair, but also a bit scary to realize just how far I still had to stretch to get her out. I was glad that I couldn't see the mirror when I was pushing because people were in front of it because I think it would have made pushing harder if I'd been watching her come out.

Sheridan arrived after the first 2 or 3 contractions. She was really helpful and held my top leg while I was pushing, which was so helpful because I could concentrate on pushing, rather than having to hold that leg up. Also, she kept reassuring me, and saying small parts of hypnobabies scripts ("Peace and anesthesia") the whole time to help me relax. Lex was amazing too. The whole time, all he said was "you're doing great, honey" and "relax" which was just perfect. I was so happy to have them both there as the combination of what they said helped to reassure me and keep me relaxed!

At the beginning when I was pushing, Dr Kong was counting to 10 while I was pushing. I couldn't imagine pushing for that long, so I remembered what Sheridan had said about following my body and doing what felt right, so I'd push until I couldn't anymore, then let out my breath, then started pushing again, then I moved on to exhaling while I was pushing-no purple pushing for me!Eventually, they must have seen that what I was doing was working, because Dr Kong stopped counting, and everyone was very encouraging and kept saying that I was doing a great job and to keep doing just what I was doing while I was pushing. Sheridan said that the baby came out in a very slow and controlled way when I was pushing and that my pushing was really effective.

It was such a relief when her head came out! Then they suctioned her mouth and nose, then asked me to push again and she just popped out in a warm gush!

And then she was here! Everything, all the pain, was completely worth it! They put her on my chest and dried her off. It was so wonderful having her there-she cried for a little bit, but then was just calm and looked around. We let her look around and do the "breast crawl" but she had a bit of a hard time finding my breast to start nursing right away.

A little while later, I told the Dr that I felt the urge to push again. She looked and said that my placenta was right there, and she pulled a little on the cord and it just slipped out painlessly-I didn't even have to push at all. Once the cord stopped pulsating, they let Lex cut the cord (I don't remember if this was before or after the placenta came out.) I didn't see the placenta, I was to wrapped up in looking at Alexandra, but now I wish I'd asked to see it-I think it would have been interesting-but I was focused on more important things!

We were able to keep her on my chest for over an hour! The baby nurse wasn't so happy, because she wanted to take her and check her and give her a bath, but Sheridan told her we'd call her when we were done (we never did and then they changed shifts, thankfully!) and she went away! They did her Apgar test while she was on me and she scored an 8 the first time, then a 9!! When we did finally let them take her, she was a little cold, so they put her under some warm lights (it turns out she had to be there for a few hours before Lex got to hold her because she wasn't warming up enough on her own). They weighed and measured her and she was 7lbs 2oz and 20 1/2 inches long.

I did end up having a 2nd degree tear. Dr Kong gave me an anesthetic before she stiched me up. I didn't feel it at all when she gave me the shots-I think in three different places- which I attribute to being so calm because of the Hypnobabies techniques!

Sheridan asked me about how long I felt my whole birthing time lasted. I knew it has lasted 16 hours, but I really felt like it was much shorter than that-maybe 6-8 hours long. Sheridan said that this is common for Hypnobabies moms to feel that their birthing time is shorter than it actually is. The entire labor was very intense and I spent most of very focused and inside myself, blocking out the rest of the world, just focused on my body. I am really proud of myself for having done it without an epidural, and I feel like I've joined such an amazing group of women, throughout the ages, who have done this before me! While I did have pain, I was able to get through and stay calm because of Hypnobabies! I felt very calm the entire time and just let things happen. I am completely confident that, had it not been for the nerve pain that I had from having back labor, that I would not have had any pain because of Hypnobabies! I'll definitely use it again if/when we have another child! Even though I had pain, Alexandra's birth was an amazing experience and I'm so happy that I chose to give birth naturally and without any pain medication. I feel like I was truly present and involved in her birth!

And of course, I got the best prize of all-I got my amazing little Alexandra! She is the best and most amazing thing that has ever happened to me! I'm completely in love with her and with being a mommy! Her birth was just the beginning of the wonderful adventure of parenthood!

I'm back!

2010-01-07T00:05:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone!It's been awhile since I've posted but most of you know that I had my baby on Sunday, December 20th at 6:24 am. I'm working on writing up my birth story and I'll post it here when I'm done, along with more photos. For now, here's a picture of my precious girl, Alexandra Mai Adams.

You can also see more photos on my flickr site as well as my husband's flickr site!

My sweet girl!

Talk to you soon!

37 Weeks

2009-12-07T23:08:00.001-08:00

37 Weeks!

I'm 37 Weeks which means that I'm officially full term!! I'm so excited to reach this milestone!

Unfortunately, I seem to have lost the photo for Week 36, which is bugging me because I really wanted to compare this week's photo to last week's. A few people have told me that I've dropped or at least am starting to! I can't quite tell from this photo...I think that maybe it looks like it a little, but I don't know-what do you think? Physically, it doesn't feel like she's dropped yet, though, but who knows!

Our baby girl is moving around a lot-I don't really feel kicks anymore, I just feel a good amount of movement-elbows and knees sticking out, feet in my ribs, etc! It's funny to feel her hiccup too, which she is doing frequently! It's also good because I can reassure myself that her head is still down!

This weekend we made a few more purchases that we needed-we got a great deal at Babies R' Us on the baby monitor I wanted. We ordered the breast pump that I've had recommended by so many friends from Medela-Lex found a great deal online for me! Also, I started packing my bag for the hospital this weekend-there's so much stuff to remember and I'm glad I have a good list from my Hypnobabies class on what to bring!

Now we still need to get a mattress for the crib and the glider and ottoman for the nursery. I'm still trying to decide if we really need the crib set or not. We also still need to get the extra car set base for Lex's car and then install the car seat in my car at least! It's hard to believe that there is so much to do for such a little baby! My mom is coming on Monday to help me with some last preparations, which should be fun!!

I'm going to have a lot more time, though, after this week because it's my last week at work before I go on maternity leave. I've already started a list of the things I want to accomplish before she arrives! As excited as I am for her to arrive, though, I hope that she waits until her due date to arrive so I can finish everything!

The other big news this week is that December 1st marked our 9 year anniversary of our first date! The photo below is from our 2nd date, but I figure it's close enough (we didn't take a photo on our first date!)

Our 2nd Date

To Lex, the love of my life, I can't believe that it's been 9 years since we had our first date! It was a magical night, and we've had an fantastic 9 years! I am so looking forward to our little family growing soon (hopefully I'll be giving you an amazing birthday/Christmas gift!!) and to becoming parents together! It's been an amazing journey and I know that we're in for an even more wonderful journey as we become parents! Here's to another 9 years and beyond!

I love you!

Well, that's this week's update!

Hope

35 Weeks!!

2009-11-29T01:55:00.001-08:00

35 Weeks!

I'm excited to be 35 weeks! We are going to have a great week celebrating Thanksgiving with my parents. They have been coming to our house for Thanksgiving since we lived in Lake Forest-I think this is our 5th Thanksgiving that we've done at our house!

Lex is making the turkey, as usual. He does an amazing 2-hour turkey that is so yummy! He even brines it the night before. We all love it every year! I make the sides with the help of my parents and Lex.

We are continuing to work on the nursery. We've got the furniture all set up and I'm starting to organize all the baby stuff we have! We have a lot of clothes! I need to get to work on washing them all and then organizing them by size so they will be ready when baby arrives!

We also still need to get a crib mattress and more bedding for the crib, as well as the glider and ottoman that I want! So I'm doing more research and I think I have it all worked out as to where I'll be getting everything. I'll probably start ordering things over the Thanksgiving holiday.

Here are some photos of the room so far-it's not done, but its definitely getting close and I'm feeling good about it. It's actually looking like a baby's room!

The Nursery

The crib and changing table is along the right wall

The stroller and car seat are in the room right now so the cats don't get to them!

Dresser drawers are on the left hand wall of the room

I'm still working on Thank You notes for all the wonderful gifts we have received from family and friends! So if you haven't received one yet, it's coming!!

Until next week!

Hope

34 Weeks!

2009-11-19T23:17:00.000-08:00

34 Weeks!

Yeah! I'm 34 Weeks! I think I look huge in this photo! I'm wearing a different tank top, so that makes it look a little different, but still! I don't know where it's all going to go for the next 6 weeks!

I missed last week's photo because we've been so busy, so it's been awhile since I've posted. I can't believe I missed last week's photo, though. I'd been so good about making sure I didn't miss any weeks at all. Oh well, I guess overall, I've done well.

It's been a crazy 2 weeks! We've been working on refinancing our house, and it looks like there might be good news! Woohoo! Keep your fingers crossed for us!

Our baby furniture arrived! We've now cleaned and de-cluttered enough to be able to put it together. We have our wonderful friends, MeiLin and Will Tsai, and their kids, Abigail and Cameron, who are coming over tomorrow night. Lex and Will are going to put together the furniture. We're so lucky to have their help!

We had our baby shower at South Bay MINI on Nov 14th. It was so much fun! We really enjoyed hanging out with all our friends and we were humbled by their love, support, and generosity! Here are some photos from the day. You can also see lots more photos here!

Everyone talking at the shower-we hope everyone had fun!

The "It's A Girl" sign from the shower

Amanda made us a great diaper cake!

Jennifer made these amazing cupcakes for us! Aren't they cute?

Our friends gave us so many cute little girl outfits, as well as lots of useful things that we needed! Thanks everyone!

Ok, until next week!

Hope

32 Weeks!

2009-11-02T00:34:00.000-08:00

32 Weeks!

I'm 32 Weeks! We're getting closer! I look like I've really popped in this photo, don't I?

We had a fun weekend. I dressed as a Magic 8 Ball for my halloween costume, which was fun and I got a lot of comments on what a cute outfit it was!

Here is another photo of me in my costume! We spent the afternoon and evening at the track at Irwindale and saw some races, did a parade lap, and handed out out candy to all the kids there! It was fun and I was glad to have an occasion to wear the costume my friend at work gave me!

On Monday we take a tour of Saddleback Hospital, so I'll be sure to update you on that next week!

Hope you all had a Happy Halloween!

Hope

31 Weeks!

2009-10-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

31 Weeks!

I'm 31 weeks! Woohoo!

Less than 10 weeks until my due date (and until Christmas!)

We have a Dr appt this week (with our new Dr!) and we also have our last Hypnobabies class, which I'm sad about! But we'll still get to see our awesome instructor, Sheridan, because she's our doula, so that's great! Also, we'll be practicing our hypnobabies scripts, exercises, etc until our baby is born as well!

Our baby girl is moving more, though the movements have changed-now instead of quick kicks, I'm feeling much more wiggling. And it's clear that there's less space in there because sometimes a body part (foot, arm, leg, or even her whole back) will be pressed up against the outside an pushes my stomach out! It's really fun to watch my stomach move-you can really see it undulating from the outside!

30 Weeks!

2009-10-25T23:07:00.000-07:00

30 Weeks!

Lots of big things happened this week!

On Saturday, October 17th, we drove up to Santa Barbara for a baby shower that my mom threw for us! We had a lot of fun and it was great seeing everyone! Everyone was so sweet and gave us several things from our registry, as well as lots of adorable outfits!!!

You can see more photos of our shower here:

The other big thing that happened is that I finally took the leap and switched Drs and hospitals. I just really felt like my Dr didn't believe in me and my ability to have a natural birth! We have our first appt with the new Dr on Wednesday, so wish us luck!

Until next week!

29 Weeks

2009-10-11T23:57:00.000-07:00

29 Weeks!!

Well, we've begun the home stretch-the 3rd trimester! I can't believe it! I'm looking bigger than ever-it's even more visible because I still haven't posted my photo from last week (I have to find it on Lex's computer because I forgot to download it from the camera!)

We'll have our 4th Hypnobabies class this week! We will be talking with our instructor about having her as our doula-we've been thinking about it, but after last week's class in all the options, pros/cons of each option, etc, I think Lex and I realized that it could really be helpful, especially since this is our first birth!

Baby girl is kicking and moving around like a champ now and I can really feel her! If you watch my belly, you can actually see her moving around! It's pretty cool!

Until next week!

Hope

27 Weeks!

2009-09-28T22:56:00.000-07:00

27 Weeks!!

I'm determined not to get behind on this-so I'm catching up this evening!! We went to our 2nd Hypnobabies class this evening! It was fun and informative! We learned a lot about nutrition, so I have to start tracking what I'm eating going forward! Hopefully I can do a good job! My focus now is to get enough protein.

Our baby girl is still kicking away! Now some of the kicks are getting stronger and I can feel more than just a little bump when she gets active! Her movements are also becoming more frequent (at least I feel them more frequently) as she grows and is getting bigger! It's so exciting! I read that she is around 2 lbs now!

In other exciting news, we are working on turning the guest room into the baby room. What is currently our office, will become the office/new guest room. But we have to make enough room for guests. So we moved me out of the office and I now have a small desk (which is a good thing for me...less space = less possibilities for messes!) and my own art/office area in the upstairs loft area. You can see the stairs leading downstairs on the left hand side. The doors on the right open to our washer and dryer. If I sit at the desk, the office is directly behind me. And behind me and to the left is what will be the baby's room. There is also a pretty good sized open floor space behind me (this is the "loft" area) about 7x9 ft where the baby could play (swing, bouncer, play mat?) while I sit here and do work/play/etc! I'm very happy with the space! We got the table/desk at Ikea and Lex did a great job of making sure it was put together in no time flat for me! (Thanks Honey!!)

Well, that's all for this week! I'll let you know how I'm doing with tracking my eating next week! Wish me luck!

Hope

26 Weeks!!

2009-09-27T23:47:00.001-07:00

26 Weeks!

I'm officially 1 week behind now! I'm actually surprised that it took this long for me to get 1 weeks behind, as we're so busy!

We started our childbirth classes this past week on Monday! I really enjoyed the class, and I think Lex liked it too! We have homework that we have to complete before next week, which will take some time, but we are enjoying preparing for this big event in our lives together. The preparations will not only prepare us for all the new changes to come, but bring us closer together as well!

Until next week (or until I catch up!!)

Hope

25 Weeks!

2009-09-19T00:16:00.001-07:00

25 Weeks!

This post is a bit late because I've been so tired this week! I make it through the day just fine, but then I come home and crash! We had the exact same dinner two nights in a row because I had no imagination and was so tired that I couldn't make dinner that night, so we just had the leftovers from dinner the night before!

A cool thing happened over the weekend-Baby was kicking and as I looked down at my stomach, I realized that I could actually see her kicks as well as feel them! When she kicked, my whole stomach moved! It was pretty cool!

I did more work on our registry (several people have asked-we're registered at amazon.com mainly, and also at babiesrus.com). Its amazing how much research is needed for everything we put on the list! There are about 20-100 different versions of a single item and each has its pros and cons. I spent a lot of time reading customer reviews of each product and then deciding on the one I liked. I had no idea that registering would take so much work!!

24 Weeks!

2009-09-07T22:50:00.000-07:00

24 Weeks!

Wow, I feel like there is a noticeable difference between this week's and last week's photos! This photo makes me look really pointy too!

I'm excited to hit 24 weeks, as it marks the point of viability-babies born after 24 weeks have a chance of survival, which is not the case before 24 weeks-so it's nice to hit this milestone. Of course, we are hoping our little one doesn't make an appearance until her due date, but it's nice to know that if she does, we are at the point of viability!

It was nice to have a long weekend this weekend! Both Lex and I got some much needed rest and slept in every day! On Saturday, I joined Lex at the SCMM Dyno Day and watch lots of MINIs on the dyno. On Sunday, we went to the memorial service for a dear friend and fellow club member who passed away recently. It was very sad, as he was so full of life. It made me feel very thankful for what I have. Then today, we ran some errands and I got a lot of work done on our bedroom-it looks really nice! Now I feel like I can start working on some other areas of the house that need to be worked on before the baby gets here!

Tomorrow morning, I'm planning on going to the gym for my yoga class! I haven't been in a long time, and I need to get back into exercising! Hopefully, tomorrow will be the start of a new routine! Even if I go just once a week, it will be a start...but I'm planning on going twice a week! Wish me luck!

Baby girl is kicking away more and more often now! Its so much fun to feel her moving and shifting and kicking (though the dancing on my bladder isn't so nice!) Even more fun is to have Lex feel her move! I have a feeling she's going to be an active little one!

23 Weeks

2009-08-31T01:12:00.000-07:00

23 Weeks

I'm 23 weeks now!! Time passed so slowly during the first 5 or 6 months of my pregnancy, and now suddenly, it feels like there is very little time left! Just this week, on August 26th, I realized I was just 4 months away from my due date!

Lex and I are trying to embrace and enjoy our last time as just the two of us by doing lots of fun things together-whether watching a movie on a Friday night at home, or going out to take photographs as we did this Saturday evening (so Lex could try his new camera!!) we are savoring this time-we know that we won't get it back. We are both so excited to begin this new chapter of our lives together though!

This week we went to an Open House for Hypnobabies (www.hypnobabies.com) which is the childbirth class that we will be starting in late September. I plan on trying to have a natural childbirth, and we are both looking forward to taking the classes to prepare for it. I've started listening to the first CD that we were sent to listen to daily before our classes begin. I must admit, though, that I keep on falling asleep during them! I think I've got to start listening earlier in the evening!

Until next week!

22 Weeks!!

2009-08-24T00:20:00.000-07:00

Only 18 weeks to go! Wow! It sounds like so far away and so soon at the same time!

This has been a great week and weekend!

We felt our little one moving even more. I got lots of kicks and nudges throughout the week and Lex got to feel a lot of them! It's so special and exciting not only to feel her, but to share this with him!

Here is this week's photo! My tummy is starting to look really pointy!

This weekend was really fun! My sister is visiting from New York City and we went to look at wedding dresses (she is newly engaged!!!) It was SO fun to see her try on dresses and help her discover what she likes! She looked beautiful in everything she tried on! I can't wait to see what she chooses!

We also spent some time at Babies 'R Us and worked on our baby registry. There is so much to learn and know! I can't believe how much research it takes just to do the registry! I think I've got it almost figured out, though!

Here are some photos of our first baby gift-from my Grandma Cile and Grandpa Ovie! They picked out this adorable outfit for our little one and we are so excited to see her in it! Thank you Grandma Cile ad Grandpa Ovie! We love it! And we love you!!

First Kicks!!!

2009-08-17T00:40:00.000-07:00

I'm now 21 weeks!! More than half-way there!

This past week has been great! While I've been tired, I haven't been so achy this week, which is nice. The biggest development is that I was able to really feel her kick! On Friday night, I felt it for the first time when I was really sure that it was her. When I put my hand where I felt the kick, I actually felt it with my hand! I had Lex try to feel and he was actually able to feel several kicks as well! It was so exciting to feel and really exciting that Lex felt it at the same time I felt it for the first time! We've both been able to feel her all weekend, usually in the evening! It's been so exciting to feel our little one!

21 Weeks!!

Situation needing remedy!

2009-08-13T17:06:00.000-07:00

It has come to my attention that the only photo of my husband on this blog is of him behind a book! SO, I decided to remedy the situation right away with this sweet photo of him and his kitty, Tigre. They are so sweet together..he's going to be such a great Daddy!!

Love you Sweetie!!

20 Weeks

2009-08-10T00:27:00.000-07:00

I've officially reached the 1/2 way point in my pregnancy!! Only 20 more weeks to go to a healthy, full term baby! I hope I can wait that long! I'm so excited to meet our little one!

Here is my pregnant belly photo for the week-as you can see, it's still growing!

Our cat, Tigre, decided to join me in this photo!

Highlights from the past week include:

*Feeling tiny movements here and there. On Friday night, I was certain I felt her move as I was laying down watching TV!

*Finding a few more maternity pieces are H&M and Kohl's (cheap or on clearance) so that I have more tops to wear to work and on weekends-I was just wearing my regular tops, but they were all getting too short, so it's nice to have things that fit now!

Have a great week, everyone!

Hope

It's A...

2009-08-07T00:39:00.000-07:00

We had our 20 week ultrasound/anatomy scan yesterday, Wednesday, August 5th.
We're very pleased to announce that our little one is looking and doing great!! The Dr took a good amount of time looking over and measuring every part of her and told us that she is healthy and doing great!! Later that day we got the results of the blood test from our 1st trimester screen and those came back really good too!!

We also found out that it's a....GIRL!!

We are both so excited that our little one is going so well and is healthy! Now we'll start narrowing down names and deciding on things for the nursery!

I'll try to post some ultrasound photos from the day soon!

Hope

19 Weeks!

2009-08-04T00:09:00.000-07:00

We've reached 19 weeks-almost the half way point! This weekend we spent time with my parents and looked at baby furniture, etc. There sure is a lot of baby stuff! It was fun looking and dreaming!

Here I am at 19 weeks. I think that the clothes I'm wearing really make a difference-I think these clothes make me look smaller than the photo last week!

Hope

The Beginning

2009-08-03T21:15:00.000-07:00

Welcome!!

Lex and I are beginning this blog to keep all our friends and family up to day on my pregnancy and beyond! We hope you enjoy!

We announced I was pregnant to our friends on July 6th with this photo!

Here I am at 16 weeks, on July 13th. My mom took this photo when she came to visit us! I'm just starting to show!

Here I am on July 19th (my birthday!!) at 18 weeks! My belly has definitely popped!

Our next big milestone is on August 5th, when we'll have the 20 week ultrasound and anatomy scan. We'll also find out the sex of the baby at this appointment! At our 12 week ultrasound, the Dr said that she was 75% sure it is a girl. We're waiting until the ultrasound to find out for sure! We've already started thinking of names, mainly girl names, but haven't made any choices and won't until we find out the sex! Hopefully the baby will cooperate!!

I hope to update this blog weekly and post a weekly update on my progress along with a photo of my tummy-both to keep everyone up-to-date, as well as to keep a record for myself of my pregnancy!

We'd love to hear your comments, advice, etc, as we go through this happy time! Hope you enjoy!

Hope (and Lex)